I love looking on Facebook and seeing a picture of a girl with her tits out, uploaded by herself. All I can think is, “you’re not a whore.” Nope, not at all. Some really classy, respectable guy is definitely going to find that attractive and classy so he’l probably ask you out in the comment box. But it’s not going to be me.

Maybe I should start posting pictures of a bulge in my sweatpants. Maybe I’ll find a respectable girl to ask me out or at least say “nice junk.” Good thing I’m less perverted and have better morals than that.

Ridiculous. Wanna impress a real guy? Post a picture of your college transcript. That’s where A, B, C or D really matters.